Pay zat Man his Money

Jeeze…how does one follow up a passionate, hate-fueled rant about what is probably the most anticipated regular season Husker game this millennium? No seriously, give me a call with some ideas. Since I can’t do two FU UT rants in consecutive weeks, I guess we can talk about the Nebraska defense (this mofo knows better than to dedicate an entire post to how Taylor Martinez is the second coming...after one game...against a JV program...no matter how sexy his arm tattoos are). So how about that defense? Obviously, no one earned a Blackshirt after WKU racked up 300 yards.

Side rant: Are we seriously going to be subjected to week after week of dumb reporters and stubborn coaches going back and forth about something as trivial as when the damn Blackshirts are being handed out? C’mon Bo, give us a break and give the defensive starters freaking shirts that are freaking black. Yes folks, that was an actual criticism of Lord Bo Pelini. Luckily, other than the Blackshirt / no-Blackshirt pissing match and maybe the temper issue (which, for the record, I find his downright embarrassing at times), Bo is simply the best there is. End of side rant.

But yeah, the defense wasn’t very good in week 1. Good enough to pull out a coverlicious cover, but not good enough to excite the Husker faithful. I mean, I didn’t hear one SUUUUUUHHHHHH yodel the entire game. Say what? Suh what? Graduated? Lions? Oh no. Oh God no. NOOOOOO!!!! Haha, I kid. Obviously the loss of that ridiculous beast is going to be a huge factor this season. And I am ready to concede that our defense will not be as good as last year. Repeat: We will NOT be as good as last year on defense. Suh was a disruptive dude. No player or group of players is going to give us that…not this year…and maybe never again in our lives. No problem though. We are going to be a top defense. The non-quite-yet-but-soon-to-be-Blackshirts defense will get better every week and we should be ready for the big boys when the time comes (10/16/10). There is no possible way our offense can suck as bad as last year, so we are cool. And how about that AP ranking? Dang, I liked the 8 spot a little better. We’re getting some respect though…just not enough for ESPN to show one freaking Husker highlight all freaking week. Suck it ESPN.

So yeah, Bo Pelini is a defensive guru. Bo is soooo good, that I get a little worried about how much money other coaches, inferior coaches, make. Eventually, we need to pay this guy some money. But how much is enough??? Enter Jim Brazda and his brilliant mind. (Let’s do the conversation thingy again, as it seemed to work out well last week.)

Me: How much do you think NU should be prepared to pay Bo Pelini when the inevitable poaching attempts begin?

Brazda: As much as he wants. Seriously, as much as he freaking wants.

Me: Do you think Nebraska would be down with paying as much as Alabama pays Saban? Or USC pays Kiffin?

Brazda: They better. As much as he wants. And if the state of Nebraska needs to raise taxes to keep him, I have no problem with that. I’d be all for that.

Me: (Nodding in total 100% agreement)

Brazda: You know what they should do…they should put out jars at gas stations similar to the ones for crippled kids or cancer research. Except this jar would be for Nebraskans to voluntarily donate to the “Keep Pelini” fund.

Me: If I see that jar...I donate. Every. Single. Time. Honestly I’d have to fight the urge to hit the ATM if I didn’t have any cash.

Brazda: Yep. Sorry crippled kids. Daddy needs some Peso defense.